Mr. Fleez Agony Session #21: Irritated Assault?

Dear Mr. Fleez,

Why is it that our male cat, Moochie, who likes attention and belly rubs from anyone, will eventually swipe at my hubby, claws out and drawing blood, but he has never done this to me.

Sometimes I get the soft paw reaching out for more, but never the claws. I'm thinking hubby is overdoing it, while I know when to quit. Or maybe he's just gentler with the ladies?

We just had a chin rubbing session, and he couldn't get enough. I kept at it until he walked away... no swiping to let me know he's done.Any idea why the difference?

-Kittymthr


Dear Kitty,

I can understand your hubby's frustration. After all, what reasonably sane purrson wouldn't want to stroke the, soft, mink-like jacket of the incurably cute? Regardless of our heartfelt desire to please all of our many admirers, however, we felines are bound by limits. These limits operate much like human patience in that they differ on an individual basis. Each individual interacts differently, establishing his own pattern of trust, and trust is vital to human/feline relations.

You've undoubtedly known some animals who don't trust men. They'll waltz up to the first woman they see, eager for some lovins; but enter a man, and they turn into psycho-skittish! Sometimes it's because they've been abused by men, yet others there is no discernible reason. Remember, though, that which is imperceptible to humans isn't always as woolly to their fur-bearing flat-mates.

Animals, felines included, have a keener sense of smell than humans. Whereas a human smells a cake baking, most animals smell its individual ingredients. Because men are the more aggressive of most species, their scent plays a huge part in an animal's distrust. Also, an animal's lack of precise vocalization forces him to rely more heavily on body language and movement. Since human females tend to be more in tune with the body language of fellow humans, it's likely that they, too, are more in tune with that of animals. This may be another reason that they gain trust more readily. Mind you, we are speaking in generalities, but if a human, regardless of his or her sex, fails to properly interpret an animal's body language (or if he finds it humorous) he is more likely to receive a swipe or bite than one who heeds the warnings.

To be fair, not all men lack social skills, nor do they all smell like predators. However, there are other physiological factors that must be considered. Human males have larger, stronger fingers than most of their female compliments. A man may not realise how heavily he strokes, and his fuzzy friend may interpret his affection as aggression, resulting in a lack of trust. (Oddly, this is also true with children, who often don't realize the extent of their own strength.) Alternately, some men may overcompensate for the sake of a delicate kitty belly, thus creating a ticklish touch. (This also applies to many women.) And, really, who likes to be tickled when they can't actually laugh?

Another real problem occurs during play time. Men tend to play more roughly than women. This can be seen in the way they play with d*gs as well as cats. When an animal associates active or aggressive play with a certain individual, settling down for a belly rub may seem a bit like setting one's self up for an ambush. Taking a swipe, or possibly a nip, may be a preemptive defense tactic used to show that they weren't really fooled by all that nicey-nicey crap. A sort of, I'm still watching you, maneuver.

Aside from body language, petting skills, and playing strategies, there is one external factor that plays a significant role in the developing of trust in the human/feline relationship. This factor is food. Your husband may be doing everything right, but if he isn't dishing out the goodies, he'll never earn the respect he desires. Short petting sessions, undertaken with undivided attention and followed up with positive goodie reinforcement, will help the right honorable Mr. Moochie build trust and tolerance for your darling husband. With time and patience they may forge a most equitable friendship.



Yours Purringly,
W.C. Humphries II (Mr. Fleez for short.)



READERS REMEMBER! You may now ask Mr. Fleez for his jaded opinion* on your personal situations. Please send enquiries to: housecatwisdom@gmail.com.

*DISCLAIMER: By contacting Housecat Wisdom you're asking a housecat for his personal opinion. If you require serious advice, please, write Ann Landers, Dear Abby, or consult a professional psychiatrist.