Mr. Fleez' Agony Session #24: Bonsai Cats?

Dear Mr. Fleez,

My cousin just came back from New York, and she says there are some Japanese people there who sell something called "Bonsai Cats" that are just a cat grown into a jar. Do you know if this is true? If it is it's evil. Who would do this to any living animal?

Sincerely,
Concerned.


Dear Concerned,

I'm not surprised that this tasteless little debacle has found its way to my desk. In fact, I'm more surprised that it's taken so long. I've been at this column for the better part of a year, and not once have I been asked about this pathetic speck of claptrap. Truthfully speaking, I was hoping I never would be; but here it is, and I'll begrudgingly address it.

I'd like to start by setting your mind at ease: There are no "Bonsai Kittens". No one is stuffing kittens into jars and controlling their growth. This twisted idea is the brainchild (or rather the emptyspacechild) of a tasteless engineer-type at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, USA. Apparently, unlike many of his fellow alumni, this individual lacked the creativity to contrive anything genuinely noteworthy, so instead the unimaginative little fetor burped up the next best thing: Shock.

The Princeton Wordnet dictionary defines shock as:

1. v. To surprise greatly.
2. v. To strike with disgust or revulsion.
3. v. To strike with horror or terror.
4. v. To traumatize or inflict a trauma upon [another].

The Mr. Fleez' purrsonal dictionary defines shock as:

1. n. Ideas or material presented with the intent of attracting mass attention while expending as little creative effort as possible.
2. n. Ideas or material produced with a selfish motive; lacking concern for members of one's own species or the species of another.
3. n. Ideas or material that deliberately incite anxiety, hostility, and rage.

Shock, in the noun sense, is sweeping so-called civilized society, disguised as harmless entertainment. On the web alone, porn, violence, gore, and cruelty are invited into the homes of countless people, attempting to tickle the jaded senses of their media-battered minds. Even humor has lost its value, as many tapped-out writers and comedians resort to shock as a means of impressing an increasingly dissatisfied audience. As a result, many suffer from self-inflicted psychological damage that carries over into their daily activities, affecting their moods, habits, and social interactions. Overexposure to violence, cruelty, and otherwise extraordinary behaviors, desensitizes the observer to less spectacular calamities and crimes, thus rendering them cold and apathetic to the circumstances of all but themselves. With apathy comes selfishness, and with selfishness anti-socialism.

Unfortunately, most fail to see the impact of shock in society. Many believe that items such as the "Bonsai Kitten" are as harmless as they are tasteless, while others promote self-subjection to morbidity and shock as a healthy, normal way to acknowledge the baser side of their nature. These people are famous for spouting off about freedoms and rights while doing their absolute best to encroach upon the freedoms and rights of those who disagree.

Alas, all the reasoning, research, and rhetoric in the world won't dissuade a person who's set on slathering society with shock. Ironically, it's more often the acts of repression and opposition undertaken to stop its distribution that purrpetuate and popularize the matter. Well-meaning people see the sites, their tempers rise, and then they react by telling everyone about the horrible things they've seen. This advertisement drives traffic to the sites rather than away from them, thus promoting the very thing they propose to prevent. Not surprisingly, many of these campaigns are started and driven by those who create and support shock material.

Putting stock in everything you hear is not only foolish but dangerous. You may even find yourself spreading disturbing untruths, as did your cousin, thus contributing to a situation that is more likely to fade if ignored. That which is unsettling when heard is infinitely more disquieting when seen, so when it comes to the internet and urban legends, one is wise to remember the adage: Those seeking trouble unfailingly find it.

Yours Purringly,
W.C. Humphries II (Mr. Fleez for short.)
READERS REMEMBER! You may ask Mr. Fleez for his jaded opinion* on your personal situations. Please send enquiries to: housecatwisdom@gmail.com.
*DISCLAIMER: By contacting Housecat Wisdom you're asking a housecat for his personal opinion. If you require serious advice, please, write Ann Landers, Dear Abby, or consult a professional psychiatrist.