Pleasant Surprises.

The most extraordinary thing happened to me yesterday. As you know, I'm rather lenient with my human subjects, but every now and again, because of their lax and inattentive attitudes, I'm forced to assert my authority. Yesterday, or so I thought, was going to be one such day.

On Wednesday, I had nothing but trouble. My human refused to feed me early, even after my purrsistent demands, she refused to open the basement door for me, knowing very well that I have a devil of a time doing it on my own, and she staunchly defied me when I told her it was time for bed. In a nutshell, she acted like a purrfectly insubordinate rebel. She gets like that sometimes, laboring under this fantastical assumption that she is the owner and I am the pet. I was right well fed up with it by Thursday; and I had the mind to let her have it properly on the matter, but something, that extraordinary thing to which I'd alluded earlier, knocked the wrath straight from my whiskers.

I suppose she must have realized that I was a bit miffed at her, and fearing the old iron paw in the velvet glove scheme, she decided to soften my rather pointy disposition. Honestly, I didn't even believe it could be done, but when she opened the freezer and pulled out that bag of fresh frozen cat mint leaves, a stash I admit I didn't know existed, I couldn't recall what it was I wanted to have words with her about.

I looked at the icy mass of delicious, green foliage as it dropped, or rather splatted, onto the rug before me. I didn't even have to ask for it! It was just there! A lovely, glistening, lump of instant happiness, and all the sudden, my black troubles vanished from before my very eyes! Everything was dead rats and rainbows, and life was wonderful again! My human was the picture of a purrfect pet! Who could ever ask for a better winter day: warm rugs, fresh, albeit cold, cat mint, and not a care in the clouds!

I must confess, I was stunned. There wasn't any warning for this random act of kindness. All these years of training must've impressed upon her how awful she had been. She must have known that the horrible time she'd given me the night before had curled my whiskers and turned them white. She was aware of her error and sought atonement for such. And, I being a merciful and loving dictator, am inclined to forgive. Yes, as long as she opens that freezer door at my bidding from this day forward, I shall never hold her shortcomings against her. In fact, I'm feeling a bit peckish at the moment; purrhaps I'll go have a word with her now.

Yours Purringly,
W.C. Humphries II (Mr. Fleez for short.)