Differentiating Between Discerning And Demanding.

At home, I call the chorus when it comes to cat food. If I ask for a particular brand of sliced chicken in gravy, that is what I expect to get. Humans, however, are conniving monsters, and they'll try their best to switch up the brands when you're not looking. It is important, therefore, that a cat educate himself in brand specifics. (Ever since finding a brand-x tuna tin cluttering up the rubbish bin, I've become somewhat of a moist cat food connoisseur.)

I don't mean to sound extreme, but housecats do have rights. After all, we're the ones who purr and roll about on the floor for the entertainment of our self-proclaimed owners. You didn't think those difficult poses came naturally, did you? Well, they don't. It can take years to master cleaning one's hamstrings whilst perched on the mantle or the back of a rickety chair. Face it, that leg-up, back-bent, head-tucked-under position isn't nearly as cushy as a simple lick of the paw swipe of the ear. Besides, anyone could do that old cliché. No, a skilled cat deserves the finest tuna, and that is all they should be obligated to eat.

Furthermore, for the benefit of those who dismiss me as insufferably picky, I put it to you this way: If a skilled electrician took a job in a foreign country, demanding the salary equivalent of two thousand American dollars a week, he'd be a fool to disregard the exchange rate. The same it goes with housecats, myself in particular: If you're paying the piper, you'd better be able to recognise the tune for which you call. Otherwise, they'll play you any old rubbish, and you'll never know the difference.

READERS REMEMBER! You may now ask Mr. Fleez for his jaded opinion* on your personal situations. Please send your enquiries to: housecatwisdom@yahoo.co.uk.

*DISCLAIMER: By contacting Housecat Wisdom you're asking a housecat for his personal opinion. If you require serious advice, please, write Ann Landers, Dear Abby, or consult a professional psychiatrist.

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